"Future Perfect HQ was also the target of a daring heist. One Friday afternoon I was celebrating the theoretical end of the working week (running an independent magazine means that you never really get a weekend), when Ryan, one of FP's founding fathers, launched into the room madly flapping his arms, yelling “we were robbed!” Upon returning home he noticed suspicious movement in our storage room. Thieves had struck! Luckily he’d recently been bulking, and after being caught in the dark by an enormous warrior, the thieves scurried off into the night. We surveyed the damage: they had missed the beautiful handmade fixie, instead running off with one of the many nondescript cardboard boxes containing freshly printed magazines and one of our pretty-much-worthless but nevertheless useful junk bikes. It would have been gratifying to see their faces when they finally inspected their bounty. Their dreams of cash were no doubt quickly dispelled by the sweet smell of freshly printed paper. What a coup for them! Who needs money when you’ve got fearless reporting on Australia’s favourite biscuits? Happy reading, thieves!"